


Wading

by nylasaur



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 14:42:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4352855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nylasaur/pseuds/nylasaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A suspiciously flooded forest brings Lenalee and Lavi to a nearly abandoned tourist town to investigate, but it's not quite the relaxing vacation Lavi had hoped for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The light rain lulled Lenalee into a daze, somewhere between waking and sleep. She stared out the window, but she didn't take note of the scenery they passed. It was as though she wasn't looking at anything at all.

"Hey." Lavi waved his hand in front of Lenalee's face. "You in there?"

"What?" Her voice sounded harsher than she'd intended. She made an effort to soften her tone and attempted a smile. "Sorry, were you saying something?"

Lavi shrugged, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back into his seat. "Nothing important."

"Sorry." She looked down at her lap, gripping the fabric of her overcoat. She didn't have time for this. It didn't matter how tired she was – a moment's hesitation could mean death, and not just her own. If she couldn't get herself to focus, she'd be risking the lives of the townspeople, the Finders, Lavi… It was a risk she couldn't afford to take.

"Hey," Lavi repeated. He leaned over, trying to make eye contact with her. His warm hand touched hers lightly, resting on top of her thigh.

The touch startled Lenalee. She turned to him, gently moving her hand away from Lavi's. "Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Just tired."

Lavi frowned. "I don't know why they sent you out so soon after a solo mission."

"It must be urgent."

"I know. I just don't like it."

Lenalee shrugged her shoulders noncommittally. She didn't have the energy to argue, and she knew she didn't have any choice but to do whatever the Order said. She turned back to the window.

Lavi contained a sigh. If she didn't want to talk, he wouldn't force it. He didn't know how long they'd be on this mission, and he didn't want to start it with a fight. He was glad to be out of the infirmary after weeks. Getting to go on his first mission alone with Lenalee was certainly a bonus. It was only slightly dampened, Lavi assured himself, by the knowledge that Bookman was still confined to the infirmary.

He tried not to think about it too much. He focused on trying to name the species of trees he saw out the window before they disappeared from view. The game was more difficult than it should have been. He could blame the bare trunks of winter for part of the increased difficulty, but he couldn't deny that he was out of practice. That unwelcome realization forced him to face the fact that he hadn't fought in weeks. He was restless to do  _something_ , but his wrist still hurt if he moved it too much. Lavi scratched the back of his head. Bookman wouldn't be here to help him if he screwed up this time, and he couldn't put that burden on Lenalee. He took a breath and began running through his seals in his mind.

When Lenalee moved her hand so that their fingers were touching just slightly, Lavi nearly jumped out of his seat. It was extraordinarily difficult to keep himself from looking over at her. To keep himself from gripping her hand tightly. That touch had to be enough.

After a length of silence, the car stopped.

"We're here," the driver announced. He stepped out of the car to open Lenalee's door and help her out. He moved to do the same for Lavi, but Lavi, either unaware of or ignoring the driver's intentions, had already gotten out.

Lavi observed the nearly empty train station. It looked like it could hold more than a thousand people, with multiple tracks running through it, but most of the people in the station appeared to be working there. "Isn't this place supposed to be a tourist destination?"

"It's the off season," the driver explained. "The news of the flooding hasn't helped. These days, most people coming through here are going south."

"Ah."

The driver pointed them to the ticket office, a small booth in the center of the station.

"Is our Finder here?" Lenalee asked.

"I don't know, Exorcist. Should I wait with you?"

"That's all right," Lenalee dismissed him, "we can wait. Thank you."

The driver nodded. "Let me get your bags."

Lavi and Lenalee settled in on one of the many empty benches in the station. The bench was cold, and Lavi shivered a bit when he sat down.

"So," Lenalee said, clapping her hands together and tilting her head to the side with a smile, "tell me what I've missed. How have you been?"

Lavi shrugged. "There isn't much to say."

She crossed her arms.

"Really!"

"What about everyone else, then? How is my brother?" Her smile wavered for a moment. "I only got to see him for a minute."

"I didn't see much of him."

"Oh? Why?"

"He's busy these days. You know how it is. Always working on some stuff he'll only whisper about with Gramps when he thinks I'm not listening. But I always am." Lavi tapped his ear, grinning. "Still don't know what's going on, really. Anyway, he doesn't have much time to come visit the infirmary."

"Oh." Lenalee said softly. She'd almost forgotten the bandage around Lavi's wrist. "Right."

"He came by a few times," Lavi added quickly. "Chatted with Gramps when the old man was awake."

"How is Bookman?"

Lavi looked towards the ceiling. He took a moment to breathe in. "He'll be fine. He's too stubborn to die, you know? Doesn't trust me to take over for him." His laugh sounded bitter. "Can't say I trust myself, either."

Lenalee nodded vaguely. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling great! On vacation with a beautiful woman, no old man criticizing everything I do, no nurse hovering over me all the time… This is the life!" He gave her a thumbs up.

" _Lavi_." She rolled her eyes in an attempt to keep herself from smiling. "I meant your wrist."

"Oh, that," Lavi said dismissively. "It barely hurts anymore. I didn't have any choice but to let it heal – Head Nurse would barely let me read, and I couldn't write. It was  _so_  boring. Remind me to never break any bones again."

"It was that bad? You told me it wasn't a big deal!"

"It wasn't! It isn't." He tried to change the subject, "I tried to write with my other hand, but I'm not very good at it. I think I'll make Allen teach me next time I see him."

She reached for his hand, but he pulled back instinctively, which only made her more concerned. "Is it broken?"

"It's healing. And my ribs are good as new!" He patted his stomach, illustrating its sturdiness.

"Your ribs!?"

"They got a little bruised when the akuma threw us against the wall. Had this sonic boom attack. Caught us off guard. It would have been pretty cool, actually, if it hadn't been trying to kill us."

Lenalee rubbed her temples. "Oh, God."

"Hey, come on! You're sounding like Head Nurse. She didn't even think I should go. Kept mumbling under her breath while she was bandaging me up this morning, but I know I'm all right. Besides, they couldn't send you out alone again. It's like you said, it's gotta be urgent."

Lenalee sighed. "I know, but I'd rather go out alone than have you get hurt."

"Aw, Lena, I'm touched," Lavi said, trying to make the words sound like a joke. "Listen, the Order wouldn't send me out if they thought I was gonna get hurt. They don't have enough Exorcists to spare these days."

The words sounded hollow. She felt like she could hear them echo. "I guess."

"Really, I – hey, the train's here!"

They watched the train pull into the station. The station filled with people (a stark contrast to the emptiness of a few minutes prior), but quickly emptied. Lavi spotted a small man with dark skin and short hair wearing the long, tan coat that identified him as a Finder.

"Do you think that's the Finder?" Lavi waved his arms over his head without waiting for Lenalee to reply. She followed his gaze. The man hurried over to them from across the station, having mistaken Lavi's excitement for a signal to rush over.

He was breathing heavily when he reached them. He leaned over and placed one hand on his thigh, holding his other hand up to give him time to catch his breath. Once he could breath again, he spoke and extended his hand to the Exorcists. "My name is Nathan. I'll be escorting you to Woodkeld. Have you been waiting long?"

"Not at all." Lenalee shook his hand.

Lavi gripped Nathan's hand with both of his and shook it up and down. "Nice to meet you, Nate."

Nathan opened his mouth to protest, but closed it. He went on, "Before we board, I have some information to share with you that may not have been included in the briefing. If I may…"

"Of course," Lenalee said.

The Finder didn't waste any time. He spoke quickly, as if he were running out of time, and had to stop to take breaths frequently. "Every morning the town floods and, every evening, the flood recedes back into the forest. The water seems to be coming from a spring in the woods, but the locals claim that the flooding has never been as bad as it has this year. Many of the villagers have been forced to abandon their homes already, and the flooding only seems to be getting worse."

Lavi started to yawn, but Lenalee subtly kicked him in the shins without taking her focus off of Nathan.

"Ow," Lavi muttered.

Nathan didn't seem to notice. He went on to tell Lavi and Lenalee that the spring in the forest was surrounded by akuma, which was why they assumed the Innocence was there but hadn't confirmed or collected it. They had gone into the forest, of course, but they hadn't been able to get close. The phones and electricity was out in town because of the flooding, so Nathan had had to walk to the next time to call the Order and catch a train.

"Unfortunately," Nathan explained, "trains are no longer able to get through to Woodkeld. It's a ten-mile walk from the next station. I apologize."

Lavi picked up his bag. He shrugged. "It's fine. Sounds pretty straightforward, anyway."

The Finder reached to pick up the other bag, but Lenalee lifted it onto her shoulder. "Take this seriously, Lavi," she said.

They followed Nathan onto the train. "I am!" Lavi protested, showing his ticket without looking at the conductor. "I'm just saying it seems simple to me. We take out the akuma, go into the spring, get the innocence, go home."

"I don't know…"

"You're right." Lavi snapped his fingers, the sharp sound echoing on the empty train. "We should just ignore the akuma, if we can. Destroying them will only draw attention."

"That's not what I meant. I don't think we should make judgments until we get there."

"Yeah, yeah. You're always saying stuff like that."

The two of them kept talking, their voices gradually rising in volume as they tried to one-up one another. Nathan couldn't get a single word in. He tried to follow the conversation, but eventually gave up. They spoke too quickly, referencing inside jokes and talking in circles.

He led them to their compartment without saying another word.

"Thank you, Nathan," Lenalee said to him, taking him off guard just before she closed the door.

As soon as she had closed the door of the compartment, Lenalee collapsed onto the seat and let out a long breath, her sudden burst of energy gone.

"I think it's gonna be a long day." Lavi sat down next to her.

"Yeah. Ten miles…" Lenalee groaned. It wasn't too long of a walk, but she was already tired. "We'd better get some sleep while we have the chance."

Lavi nodded absently. He didn't think he'd be able to sleep. Although he was out of the infirmary, he was still restless. He found his hand on his weapon without even realizing it, prepared for some unseen enemy to emerge.

"Good night," Lenalee said.

"Afternoon," Lavi corrected automatically.

She laughed tiredly but genuinely. "Good afternoon, Lavi."

"Good afternoon, Lenalee."

Lenalee tucked her legs onto the seat and hugged them close to her body. Impulsively, Lavi put his arm around her, and she rested her head on his shoulder. A moment later, she was asleep.

Lavi, on the other hand, couldn't manage to close his eyes for more than a few seconds. He'd gotten enough sleep for a lifetime during his month in the infirmary, with Head Nurse keeping him from doing anything she didn't deem properly restful.

For a while, he just watched her sleep, even as he told himself that he shouldn't. Though he'd known that she hadn't been able to sleep long the night before, he was still surprised that she could fall asleep like this. He had never known her to fall asleep so quickly. Though he felt more comfortable than a Bookman should with Lenalee resting on his shoulder, the proximity quickly became too much. He felt her chest rise and fall against his arm and tried to keep himself from moving for fear that he would wake her. He felt trapped – even more restless than before.

The window provided the distraction he needed. It had stopped raining, but the clouds remained overhead, filtering the light so that the world appeared in shades of gray. It made him shiver, though the train was warm and Lenalee's body felt hot against his side.

He tried not to think about anything at all. The consistent view out the window comforted him and bored him at the same time, and he eventually fell asleep with his head pressed against the glass.

* * *

 

By the time the train stopped, he had sunk down in his seat so that he was sitting in the middle of the bench with his right side pressed into the side of the train. Lenalee had ended up with her head in his lap. They didn't wake up until the Finder opened the door.

Lenalee stood up so quickly that she almost fell over. The ensuing apologies were what woke Lavi.

"I'm sorry – I – I knocked, but – "

"No, no, I'm sorry. We weren't paying attention." She kicked Lavi's shin discreetly. It was the same leg she'd hit earlier; Lavi could feel it beginning to bruise. "We should have gotten up with the train stopped."

"No, it's alright. I shouldn't have come in."

"You shouldn't have had to. It was our fault."

"Hey," Lavi chimed in, "it doesn't matter now. We're awake. Let's go." He stepped forward. "Lead the way, Nathan!"

Nathan gulped, but nodded in agreement. "Right this way."

The two exorcists followed him out of the train. Even though the small station stood ten miles away from the flooded town, the mud was caked on its wooden floor.

"That looks like a pain to clean," Lavi commented idly.

The Finder nodded politely. He led them down the stairs of the station, and the exorcists realized that the town was bustling. Lenalee had managed to tune the sounds of people out until she saw them, but the sound threatened to overwhelm her once she took note of it. There seemed to be far more people than there were buildings, and many of them had suitcases in tow.

Lenalee tapped Nathan on the shoulder to get his attention. She had to raise her voice to be heard. "Are all these people from Woodkeld? Is the flooding that bad?"

"Many of these people are, yes, but some of them are from towns more nearby, which are experiencing minor flooding." Nathan added, "It's difficult to get out of Woodkeld at this point."

"Oh." Lenalee looked around. Even some of the people without bags seemed out of place, the hems of their pants and dresses weighed down with mud. She looked to Lavi, who seemed to be staring at something out of sight.

"Ah, well, unless you two need anything in town, I think we'd best be on our way," Nathan said.

"Actually," Lavi snapped back into the conversation, "I could go for something to eat."

" _Really_ , Lavi?"

He shrugged, grinning playfully. "Hey, Allen's not around.  _Someone_  has to eat everything in sight."

Lenalee sighed, but she realized that she'd gotten a little hungry on the train, too.

After a brief detour into a crowded bakery, the three of them were on their way with a few pastries stashed in Lenalee's bag. As soon as they left the cobblestone streets of the village, they felt the effects of the nightly flooding. Though the ground was solid at first, it was wet. Soon, the mud overwhelmed the solid ground, and their feet sunk in with every step. Nathan seemed unperturbed, drawing on his experience in Woodkeld itself, but Lavi and Lenalee struggled as subtly as they could manage. When Lavi lost his footing, he grabbed Lenalee's arm for stability, almost taking them both down. She gave him a dirty look, but he only shrugged in response.

Nathan stopped to look back at them, but they righted themselves and continued on, trying to ignore the sounds their shoes made as they pulled them out of the mud with each step.

By the time they saw Woodkeld's steeple in the distance, the mud was nearly up to Lenalee's knees. She couldn't contain a sigh. Ten miles had never taken so long.

Lavi nudged Lenalee and whispered, "How much further, d'you think?"

"I'd guess half a mile, maybe a bit more."

"Maybe I should just launch us over there," Lavi suggested, pulling his weapon out of his pocket and twirling it in his hand.

She pushed his hand down gently but firmly. "No, thank you. I don't think you could carry all three of us, anyway."

"Is that a challenge?"

"It's not."

"It sounded like a challenge."

Lenalee gave him a look he knew all too well. " _Lavi_."

"Yeah, okay, but I could do it."

"Of course."

The town of Woodkeld soon came into sight. It was even smaller than Lavi had expected – and it was empty, the air around it as stagnant as the mud beneath their feet. As they got closer, Lavi noticed lights on in the houses higher up on the hill.

Nathan pointed to a building at the top. "That's the hotel we've been staying at."

A figure stepped out of the hotel as they reached the top of the hill and hurried over to them. He introduced himself as Charles and went on, "I'm sorry, I'd hoped you'd arrive earlier so that we could show you around today, but the sun will set soon. It's best to be inside when it does."

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "Do the floodwaters rise this high?"

"No." Nathan shook his head. "Not yet, but they've proven to be rather unpredictable. Each night is different."

"Right," Charles agreed. "Shall we?"

Many of those who hadn't evacuated the town pressed inside the lobby of the hotel trying to get a room before dark. The Exorcists got more than a few dirty looks when they were handed a key without a wait. Lenalee couldn't bring herself to care that they were only given one room – she was exhausted, and she knew she was lucky to be able to get a room at all.

They thanked the Finders, who had a small room at the end of the hall, and climbed the stairs up to the second story of the hotel. There were only a few rooms and it quickly became clear why they'd been given this room. Once she had gotten the door unlocked, Lavi quickly made for the bed. Lenalee would have liked nothing more than to collapse and sleep until morning, but she grabbed his collar.

"We need to shower," she said matter-of-factly, not giving Lavi time to whine. They were both covered in mud.

Knowing from her tone of voice that there was no room for argument, Lavi nodded. He lifted his head from the mattress and took in his surroundings. The room was larger than they had expected: it looked to be the size of three of the rooms downstairs. Lavi guessed that it was three times the price, too. Pillows covered the large bed and the couch. The lamps had ornate metal carvings and the tables looked to be solid wood. He doubted that many of the villagers could afford this room.

Lenalee barely noticed anything about the room. "I'll shower first, and then you can go," she said.

Lavi made a noise of acknowledgment but when she came out of the bathroom, he'd fallen asleep. Though she felt bad for waking him, Lenalee didn't want to sleep in the same bed as someone caked in mud, so she shook him awake as gently as she could. He groaned, but eventually got up and stumbled into the bathroom. He was so tired that Lenalee worried he would slip, so she listened carefully as she picked mud off her bag. She'd started soaking her clothes in the sink, but she wasn't sure how well that would work. She wished she'd paid more attention when packing.

"I can sleep on the couch," Lavi offered when he came back into the room, toweling off.

"Why? The bed's big enough." Lenalee looked over at him. "But put a shirt on."

Lavi laughed. "Fair."

As he was changing, he caught a glimpse of the flood rising out he window. "Lenalee, come look at this!"

"Not now." She had climbed into bed while Lavi changed and wouldn't even entertain the thought of getting up.

"I'm serious." Lavi crossed the room and pulled at her arm. "Come on."

He succeeded in getting her up, and she realized that he'd been right to make her take a look. The Finders had not exaggerated. It wasn't completely dark yet, but the water had engulfed most of the lower areas of the town – the areas they had walked through only a few hours ago – and was steadily rising. They stood there and watched from the window until it got too dark to see anything except the reflection of the stars in the growing lake. The stars made the edge of the water look like it was glowing. When the clouds blocked out even that light, they went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

The sunlight that filtered through the drawn curtains woke Lenalee. Lavi's arm weighed down on her waist. She delicately removed it, trying not to overthink the gesture or wake him. He tended to move around in his sleep, anyway. It was certainly unintentional.

Lenalee stretched her arms over her head and yawned before swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Being so tired had made it easy for her to fall asleep last night, but this morning she felt more well-rested than she had in what felt like months. Taking her time to relish the feeling of waking up happily, she threw the curtains open without thinking.

"Oops," she whispered – but, when she looked back at the bed, she saw that Lavi was still sleeping soundly. She laughed – it was usually Allen who could sleep through anything, not Lavi – but tried to stay quiet nonetheless.

It was a few hours after sunrise, so the waters had already receded into the forest. The flooded streets that they had looked out on last night were completely empty. From the hilltop hotel, Lenalee could see the town below. A few people wandered the streets, some of them collecting the wet debris that must have been washed into the town the previous night. A sharp line on many of the buildings showed the highest point of the water, below which mud colored the walls. The sun hung in the sky, beating down, but it wasn't enough to dry the wet ground. Still, the town looked somewhat lively and colorful with its brightly painted walls and signs, even with many of its inhabitants evacuated.

Was this really the same town? Lenalee rubbed her eyes as she looked out the window. It looked so different by day. She decided to get dressed and talk to people in town. She'd let Lavi sleep a little longer.

* * *

Lavi didn't wake up until Lenalee returned to the room. He'd slept through the Finders knocking on his door and the hotel manager trying to ask whether he needed the room cleaned. He'd even slept through Lenalee talking directly into his ear.

She pulled his blankets off.

"Hey," he said, though it was mostly drowned out by his yawn.

"I brought you a Danish." Lenalee pulled a pastry out of a paper bag. She dropped the bag on his bedside table.

"Great! I'm starving." He grabbed it. Mouth full, he continued, "What'd I miss? What time is it?"

"Not much. The villagers don't seem to know much more than we do." Lenalee shrugged. "I think it's around three."

"What?" Lavi sat up, dropping his Danish on the bed.

Lenalee regarded him with confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you wake me?" he demanded, jumping up and picking his pants off of the floor. He hopped as he tried to put his pants on without sitting back down.

"It seemed like you needed your sleep. You're still healing, aren't you?"

"I've been doing nothing but sleeping for two weeks, Lena, I don't need any more! I – ," he cut off, falling over onto the bed.

She crossed her arms and waited for him to continue.

"Never mind. Sorry." Lavi picked the Danish back up. "Thanks for the food."

"If you want something more to eat, there's a little restaurant downstairs. The Finders said it was good."

"Sure."

They walked down the stairs and into the dining room. The dining room held only a few tables, but at this hour they were empty.

Lenalee pulled out a chair for Lavi, then sat down across from him. "How did you sleep?"

"Like a  _log_."

She laughed. "Is that good or bad?"

Lavi considered the question. He couldn't remember falling asleep as he usually did, listing off facts in his mind until he couldn't think anymore, so it must have happened quickly. Walking in the mud must have made him tired enough to overwhelm the feeling of never wanting to sleep again. He shrugged. "Is anything good or bad?"

"Save the existential questions for Bookman." She rolled her eyes. " _I_ slept well."

"That's good." Lavi examined his fork. "The beds here are pretty comfortable."

The only waiter in the place approached their table. Lenalee ordered a tea, having already eaten, and Lavi ordered an omelet. It felt weird to eat when Lenalee wasn't going to, but he felt his stomach beg for food. He hadn't eaten anything besides the Danish Lenalee had brought him since yesterday morning.

"What did you do this morning?" Lavi asked.

"I went around, asking questions. The Finders are right: the people here don't know much. Oh, and I bought rain boots."

"What color?"

"Um, yellow."

Lavi nodded approvingly. "So, what did you learn?"

"Like I said, not much. A lot of people mentioned seeing the water… glowing."

"We saw something like that last night, with the stars," Lavi pointed out. It really had looked like the water was glowing. He'd been amazed by the sight and hadn't wanted to look away or go to sleep, especially when he looked over and saw the reflection of the window in Lenalee's eyes. If the clouds hadn't covered the light, he didn't think he'd ever have gone to sleep. Still, it was clear as soon as he woke up that the "glowing" was a reflection of starlight.

Lenalee shook her head. "I brought that up. They said that's not it." She raised her hand when Lavi opened his mouth to interrupt her. "I'm not saying they're right, but almost everyone I talked to mentioned it. We don't have much to go on, and it's not like we haven't seen stranger things."

"But we know the explanation for this," Lavi whined, not overly eager to overcomplicate the situation. "The light stopped when the clouds rolled in."

"I know, but I still think it's worth – "

The waiter set their plates down on the table without a word. Lavi rubbed his hands together and immediately set to devouring the plate of food in front of him. He was somehow even hungrier than he'd thought he was. Maybe this was how Allen felt.

Lenalee watched the waiter until he'd gone back into the kitchen. She lowered her voice. "I'm not sure they like the Church very much here."

"Really?" Lavi's chewing slowed, and Lenalee was forced to look at the food in his mouth. He gulped down his bite. "What makes you say that?"

"It's just a feeling. People weren't exactly forthcoming with information, you know? I don't think I got one straight answer all morning."

"They're  _people_. People aren't good at straight answers."

Lenalee raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. She sipped her tea. "Maybe you're right."

"Ooh, I like the sound of those last two words!" Lavi said, still talking with his mouth full of eggs. A piece fell out of his mouth and back onto his plate. He put it back in his mouth.

"You are so gross."

Lavi shrugged, giving a toothy, eggy grin. "Isn't that why you love me?"

"Not really."

Unsure how to reply, Lavi just shoveled more eggs into his mouth. A few minutes later, he was scraping the last bits off his plate while Lenalee paid the bill.

As they exited the hotel, Lavi squinted. "It's so bright."

"That tends to happen during the day," Lenalee teased.

"It's inconvenient. I can barely see. We should see if there's a way to make the sun less bright." Lavi snapped his fingers. "Maybe Komui knows!"

Lenalee rolled her eyes. "Can we focus on finding the Finders for the moment? I want to check out the forest before it gets dark."

"Shouldn't that be the other way around?"

Lenalee scanned the streets. She squinted at a couple approaching the hotel. "I guess you're right." She waved her arms over her head. "Nathan! Charles!"

Somehow, the Finders managed to hear her from across the street. Their shoes slapped the concrete as they hurried to join the Exorcists, the sound echoing around the nearly empty intersection.

"We apologize for not waiting, Exorcists," Charles explained. "We'd thought you'd gone on ahead."

"Nah, I slept in." Lavi shrugged. "Not your fault."

Charles and Nathan exchanged a quick look of surprise at Lavi's nonchalant attitude, but quickly composed themselves.

"Right, then," Charles said, "we'd better head in."

"The water is lowest in the late morning, so we may have to wade," Nathan elaborated.

Lenalee smiled, pleased that she'd had time to purchase boots that morning. "That's fine. I just want to take a look."

"Figure out what we're dealing with," Lavi added.

"Right." Lenalee nodded.

The four walked through the hollow town, vacant buildings looming over them, though they couldn't be more than three stories tall. They seemed larger simply by virtue of their emptiness, the darkened windows contrasting with the brightness of the day. With Lenalee's statement at breakfast, Lavi began to notice that people would duck into buildings when they saw the Rose Cross. He wondered how much of the seeming emptiness of the town stemmed from people avoiding them and how much could be attributed simply to evacuations. It wasn't unusual for people to be wary of the Order, but it did make him uneasy.

In the forest, the silence seemed slightly more natural, though the almost complete absence of wildlife indicated that there was something wrong here.

"This isn't so bad," Lavi commented. From the Finders' descriptions, he'd expected to be up to his knees in water.

The light dimmed as they traveled further into the forest, so Lavi couldn't see Charles' tight nod. "We haven't gotten very far yet."

No one except Lavi spoke further – they tried to focus on navigating the forest they could barely see. Lavi, on the other hand, kept a running commentary. "This place is pretty cool, really. I feel like I haven't seen a lot of these species of trees before Do you know what kind of tree that one is? It's sticky with what I assume is sap, so that narrows it down, but I can't see it well enough to tell what species it is. Do you think people in town would know? Maybe I'll – "

The sudden silence behind the group made Lenalee whip around, the Finders turning to look behind them much less enthusiastically. Lavi had been bringing up the rear, but was now nowhere in sight.

Lenalee cupped her hands around her mouth. "Lavi!"

The Finders scanned the dim horizon as Lenalee shouted. They looked around where he had been, keeping their eyes out for anyone who could have taken Lavi quickly enough that they hadn't seen him. They had never seen a Noah before, but they couldn't keep the thought that the Innocence may have attracted one to their location. Nathan cautiousy stepped to the side, his eyes focused into the trees, and slipped, but Charles caught his arm. Disguised by the darkness and fallen branches, they saw a deep hole.

Nathan called Lenalee over. The three of them peered down.

"Lavi?" Lenalee called down.

Though he was still winded from the fall, Lavi managed to call back, "Little help?"

Lenalee couldn't keep herself from rolling her eyes. She activated her innocence and jumped blindly into the hole, hoping the light from her boots would be enough for her to avoid landing on Lavi.

The hole was both deeper and wider than she'd expected, and Lavi was splayed out a few feet from her. "Can you stand?"

"Ye – what – hey! – what are you doing?"

"Picking you up." Lenalee bent her knees to lift Lavi, supporting his legs with one arm and his torso with the other. Once he was secure – if disgruntled – she leapt out of the hole, surprising the Finders and disrupting the underbrush.

After she'd set him down, he grumbled, "Why did you even ask, then?"

"I was being polite."

"You were _not_!"

"How are your ribs doing?"

Lavi crossed his arms. After a moment of trying to think of a good reply, he stuck his tongue out at her.

The Finders exchanged desperate looks. When Lenalee declared that they should get going, they sighed with relief. Leading the way was something they knew how to do. Defusing situations between exorcists, on the other hand, was not their specialty.

As the group advanced into the forest – in two rows rather than a line this time – they felt the ground begin to sink beneath their feet.

"Woah!" Lavi struggled to lift his shoe out of the mud. "This is deep!"

Without saying anything, Nathan tilted his head up and the others followed suit. The sun had begun moving down towards the horizon. The whisper of orange tinting the edges of the clouds hinted that there wasn't much time before sunset.

"The forest is the first to flood," Nathan reminded them. "We don't have long."

Lenalee's eyes remained focused on the sky. "Do you think we should turn back?"

"How much farther is it?" Lavi asked before the Finder could reply.

Charles gestured around at the uniform surroundings. "It's hard to tell. There aren't many landmarks."

"Well," Lavi said. He didn't have a plan for the rest of the sentence, so he looked to Lenalee for assistance.

She took the cue. "It would be good to at least see the akuma you mentioned, if we can."

"Right!" Lavi agreed.

Soon, the group was wading through rising water as the sky darkened. The forest had been dark even in daylight and was completely obscured in the dusk. The group had two lanterns between them, so they stayed close. Lenalee shivered as the water touched her knees and Lavi allowed himself to put his arm around her shoulders, just for a moment.

Hesitantly, Nathan spoke. "I think it would be best to turn back. When it gets dark, it's easy to get lost."

"Have you gotten lost in here?" Lavi asked absently. He didn't really want to turn back before they saw anything and have filled his shoes with mud for nothing.

"The first night we came out," Charles answered. "We nearly got trapped."

Lavi scratched his head. "We've already come all this way…"

"Let's go back." Lenalee touched his arm lightly. "They know more about this than we do."

"Yeah, okay. Fine." He covered Lenalee's hand with his and then gently brushed it off.

The walk back to town was even muddier than the walk in. By the time they reached the edge of the forest, the water was deeper there than it had been when they started walking back. Their feet stuck in the ground with every step, meaning it was slow going the whole way back. Lenalee's hips were completely submerged.

Getting back onto the cobblestone streets of Woodkeld was a relief.

"Whew!" Lavi tried vainly to brush mud off his shirt. "Well,  _that_  was a load of fun, but I think I'd like to go back to the hotel now."

"At least we know the lay of the land a little better now," Lenalee justified. "And don't you want to get some dinner?"

"Not really. I just want to shower."

"There's a grocery store a couple of blocks from the hotel," Nathan offered. "We could take you there if you'd like."

"No, thank you. I'm sure we can find our way."

With Lenalee's smile, the Finders understood that they were dismissed. They hurried back to the hotel, as eager to shower as the Exorcists were, leaving Lavi and Lenalee standing completely alone in the middle of the darkened street. The gas lights lining the streets were out, so the only light came from the lantern the Finders had given them.

"So," Lenalee said, attempting unsuccessfully to supress a yawn, "should we get some dinner?"

"No."

"Come on." Lenalee pulled on Lavi's arm, but he stayed put. "We should eat!"

"Why? Didn't you get groceries earlier?" Lavi stopped talking to take Lenalee's hands in his. He looked into her eyes as seriously as he could in the dim light. "Don't you want a shower, Lenalee? Don't you want to be covered in nice, warm water and soap and get all clean?"

She threw her arms down, effectively getting his hands off of hers, but kept his gaze. "Of course I do! I'm just trying to be responsible."

"How is it responsible to track mud all over a restaurant?"

"Well… it's… hey!"

"What?"

"I think you're right!"

Lavi crossed his arms. The lantern swung and cast shadows with the motion. "You don't have to act so surprised."

"No, no." Lenalee smiled and started walking quickly in the same direction the Finders had gone. "I'm just happy! Now I don't have to wait for a shower."

Lavi jogged to catch up with her. He hooked his elbow with hers. "Hold on! You still have to wait.  _I'm_  showering first."

"Excuse me?"

"It's only fair. I'm the one who said we should shower, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but… hey, do you know how to get back?"

Lavi scoffed. "You don't?"

"We've only been this way once," Lenalee reminded him. She tried not to be annoyed. "We can't all have your photographic memory."

"It's not photographic."

Lenalee threw her hands up. "Whatever!"

Lavi laughed. His voice echoed against the stone walls that lined most of the streets. The sound temporarily silenced them, and Lenalee followed Lavi silently until they reached the hotel. The heavy door was unlocked, but no one was inside. It wasn't late, but it had become totally dark as they walked back. Only a few lamps were left on in the lobby, but it was still almost unbearably bright in comparison to the night from which they'd just walked in. Lenalee shielded her eyes as she ascended the stars. Lavi trailed behind her. He blew out the lantern and immediately regretted it when he saw how dark their room was.

They felt around in the dark for a match to light one of the wall lamps. When they were finally able to see one another, Lavi continued the conversation from earlier. "I should get the shower first."

"You're still talking about that?" Lenalee teased. "I thought we agreed I was showering first."

Lavi frowned. "We did  _not_!"

"Okay, okay." Lenalee raised her hands in front of her face. "Let's just compromise. We can just shower at the same time. The shower is big enough for two."

That worked well enough for Lavi. His desire to wash up combined with exhaustion overwhelmed his need to win the argument.

Their shared awareness of the situation prevented it from being overly awkward, though Lenalee had to remember to ask Lavi to pass the soap instead of reaching over him and Lavi had to remind himself not to stare when he handed it to her.

For Lavi, it was difficult to suppress the urge to get out as quickly as possible. The closeness threatened to overwhelm him, but he felt Lenalee silently encouraging him to stay. He knew that Lenalee showering with him was an expression of trust and, though that should make him want to run  _more_ , it somehow kept him on his feet.

Standing under the showerhead, Lenalee watched the mud from their bodies wash down the drain. It gave her something to focus on apart from the situation.

When they got out, Lenalee lay down on the bed, wrapped in a towel. "I'll get dressed in a minute," she said. "Then we can go."

Lavi lay down next to her. "Are you sure?"

"I'm… sure..."

"Go put on some pajamas." Lavi made a noise that was a mixture of a yawn and a laugh. "We're not going out again."

Lenalee rolled off the bed lazily. Once she'd dressed, she crawled into bed. Before Lavi did the same, she asked him to blow out the light.

Under the covers, she leaned against him for warmth, and he let her. Neither of them managed to think too much about it before they fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A knock on the door startled Lavi awake. He sat straight up in bed, unsure whether the knock had been real or just a part of his dream. After a few moments, the knock came again. He pushed the blankets off his legs and went to the door, scratching his back and yawning all the way.

He didn't bother to look through the peephole and only opened the door a crack. It took him a moment to blink away the sleep in his eyes and recognize the Finders. He looked remarkably unprofessional in his underwear without a shirt on, so the finders attempted to avert their eyes.

"Sorry to wake you, Exorcist," Nathan said, his eyes focused on adjusting one of the straps on his pack, "but I think it would be best to get an early start today."

"Yeah, yeah," Lavi yawned. He wasn't trying to be rude, but his tone was unintentionally dismissive. "I'll wake Lena up and meet you down there in a few, yeah?"

"Uh, yes. Thank you."

After waving them off, Lavi shut the door again. "Hey, Lena!" He crossed the room and picked up the bag of pastries they'd bought a few days ago. He took a bite of one and frowned. "I think these are stale," he continued with his mouth full and threw one at her anyway.

It made a sound as it hit her head. Lavi winced. He hadn't meant to hit her. "Ow!"

"We gotta get up and go." When no response came, Lavi cautiously poked the lump on the bed, trying to aim for an arm. The lump remained still. "What's up with you? Usually you're up way before I am."

"I didn't sleep well," Lenalee mumbled into her pillow.

"Oh," Lavi hesitated. "Are you… okay?"

For a moment, Lenalee considered saying that she wasn't. She pressed her face further down into the pillow and considered telling him about her nightmare. She considered explaining that she didn't want to get up and act in the name of the Order. She considered pulling him into bed with her and convincing him to go back to sleep and be safe.

She didn't. It was an instance of early-morning selfishness. She shook it off as she sat up and stretched. They had a mission to do.

Lavi looked at her. When she finally opened her eyes after stretching her arms, he averted his eyes. He was worried about her, though he wasn't sure he had any reason to be. Lenalee could take care of herself, he knew, but he didn't like how quiet she'd been lately. She hadn't even scolded him for hitting her.

"You can go ahead down." Lenalee covered her mouth as she yawned. "I'll meet you down there."

"You sure?"

"I'm just going to get dressed." She picked up the bread Lavi had thrown at her. It crunched when she bit in. Almost offended, she looked down at the food. "Hey! This is stale!"

"That's what I said!"

She shrugged and opened her bag "I wasn't listening."

Lavi shook his head at her and laughed. "You would  _never_  let me get away with that."

"I'll meet you downstairs, Lavi." She practically forced him out of the room, letting out a sigh as she closed the door behind her. Breathing became more difficult as she crossed to the bathroom to halfheartedly drag a comb through her hair. Staring at herself in the mirror, she realized she looked terrible. She didn't know what was wrong with her. This mission didn't seem particularly difficult or taxing, but she felt more tired than she had when she'd been working alone on her last mission. After the first day, she hadn't even had a Finder to accompany her. How could this be worse? She almost expected to start crying while she put her clothes on, but her old self-preservation instincts seemed to activate and no tears came. Nonetheless, she wiped her eyes before she went down to the lobby.

"Sorry for the wait."

"Don't worry, Miss. It's still early," Michael assured her.

"Let's get going, then." Lavi extended his arm towards the door. The Finders headed out and the Exorcists followed.

The town wasn't any livelier than it had been the day before, but they had learned to expect the silence. Lavi thought he caught sight of someone closing their curtains when they saw the group, but he wasn't sure. Lenalee focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

Lavi slowed down so he could whisper to Lenalee without the Finders hearing him. They were chattering among themselves, but he wanted to be sure. "Are you okay?"

"Didn't you already ask me that?"

"You didn't answer," he reminded her.

Lenalee gritted her teeth. Lavi was getting on her nerves. "I'm fine."

He waited for her to elaborate, but she didn't. "It's just that you – "

"I'm not the one with broken bones," she snapped at him. After a moment, she added, "Sorry."

"Hey, it's fine. That's more like the Lenalee I know and love." Lavi cursed internally. "Anyway, um, my bones aren't broken  _now_. Technically."

Lenalee smiled. "Right."

Lavi considered his job done with that smile. As they walked in silence, though, Lavi felt a tense air around them. He alternated between wishing that he could figure out what was bothering her and wishing he were a better Bookman who didn't care what was bothering her. He wished he didn't care what happened to this town, either. He became invested in things so easily. He thought it was interesting that they could be so easily convinced that their forest glowed at night, amazed that they could write off the bizarre floods with a shrug. The townspeople had endeared themselves to him without ever having spoken to him. The faded colors of the painted stone walls cemented his investment in keeping the town standing. And, he realized, he wanted the Finders to survive. These feelings boiled his stomach. No matter how passive these wishes were, he shouldn't be thinking about them at all.

He groaned aloud. Lenalee shot him a curious look, but didn't push it. She didn't have the energy for the ordeal that was extracting any personal information out of Lavi.

The list of things they weren't telling one another only grew.

When they entered the forest and the Finders started shouting directions back at them, it came as a relief. The hike through the forest went much more quickly without the feeling that the water was threatening, though the ground was still saturated with water and their feet still sunk in.

Lavi stared at his feet, trying to avoid the same embarrassment as the previous day. He still didn't understand why there had been a hole in the forest. Could it be trap set by one of the Noah? Maybe it had been dug by a hunter and then abandoned when the forest started flooding. If it was abandoned, that would explain why there hadn't been a net.

His thoughts distracted him so much that when Lenalee stopped he crashed into her.

"What the – "

Lenalee brought a finger to her lips. "Shh."

"Why are – ?

" _Shh._ "

"Sorry, sir," one of the Finders whispered. Lavi had to squint to identify him as Charles. "We have to be quiet. We don't want to draw attention to ourselves."

Lavi continued to speak at full volume, "What do you m – " Lenalee clamped her hand over Lavi's mouth, exasperated. He resisted the urge to lick her hand as he usually would.

"Look  _up_ , Lavi."

He did, and instantly understood why the Finders were so nervous. A group of level one akuma hovered about thirty feet overhead. He frowned and started counting. "How many are there?"

Nathan answered, "The most we've seen is seven."

Lavi turned to Lenalee. "What should we do? Should we take them out?"

"No." Lenalee shook her head. "Not if we can avoid it. It would only attract attention."

"Wait, you guys haven't seen any Noah around here, have you?" Lavi asked, turning back to the Finders, who shook their heads. "Then we'd better keep a low profile, right? Wouldn't wanna encourage any Noah to come check this place out. Why are all these akuma here, anyway?"

"There is a graveyard nearby," Nathan offered, "but we do think it has something it has something to do with the Innocence."

"We've never gone much further than this, so we can't be certain," Charles clarified, "but this is the best indication we've found that there's Innocence in this forest."

Lenalee nodded. "Could you show us the furthest you've gone?" She looked at Lavi. "After that, we can go on alone. It'll be less dangerous with just the two of us."

From her tone, it wasn't clear whether Lenalee was asking or telling, so Lavi just gave a tight nod.

Nathan motioned for the Exorcists to follow him and he and Charles advanced as quietly as they could manage. Because the Finders had tried to find a way around the akuma each time they'd come out to the forest, they knew the terrain well and stepped confidently. Lenalee and Lavi had to watch the Finders' feet to know where to step. Without warning, one set of feet disappeared. This sight was followed by a series of loud thumps.

"Nathan!" Charles shouted.

"Quiet," Nathan hissed, barely audible from the bottom of the hill he'd just fallen down. His pack was on the ground next to him, one of the straps wrapped around his leg. He looked uninjured, as far as Charles could tell.

Nathan's warning had come too late. Whether they'd been alerted by the sound of Nathan's fall or by Charles' shout, every akuma's cannon was trained on the Finders. As they'd been taught, the Finders slammed themselves to the ground as the akuma aimed. One shot, hitting a tree and immediately withering it.

Lavi stared up at the group of akuma and took a step back. At the same time, without any hesitation, Lenalee activated her innocence and launched herself into the sky.

"Lenalee!" Lavi yelled. "Don't!"

She ignored him. The first akuma went down in one hit, and, in the moment before it broke apart completely, she kicked off of it to keep herself airborne as she aimed for her next target. She'd drawn their attention away from the Finders and onto herself. She smiled slightly as she heard the crack of the akuma's frame under her boot. She pushed off of the akuma, then brought herself back down at full force, allowing herself to fall and using the momentum to destroy the akuma.

"God  _damn_  it." Lavi drew his weapon and extended it, running forward to take out the one akuma whose attention he'd attracted with his shouting before it attacked. He then turned his attention on the akuma closer to Lenalee. He smashed the hammer into an akuma to Lenalee's side, shouting, "On your left!"

Lenalee continued to destroy akuma in the sky. She paid no attention to the situation on the ground, fully aware that if she looked down she might lose focus. The wind stung her face, but she kept moving until the sky was clear and she could see the clouds over the tops of trees. After a moment, she dropped back to the ground as gracefully as ever.

"What the hell was that?" Lavi stepped directly in front of her. He caught her eye.

She turned her head away. "They were going to kill the Finders."

"They could have killed  _you_!" Lavi's tone was harsh. He knew he was reacting more than he should, but he couldn't calm himself down.

He grabbed her arm, but Lenalee pulled away and glared at him. She kept her voice calm. "They didn't."

"That's not the point! That's not the point, Lena. You put yourself in danger. Since when are  _you_  the one making poor decisions?" Lavi tried to joke. "Aren't you supposed to be the one keeping the rest of us in line?"

"Who says it was a poor decision?" She dug her heel into the mud, finally releasing her innocence and feeling that power leave her. With the adrenaline beginning to dissipate, she began to see Lavi's point of view, though she wouldn't admit it. She'd saved the Finders' lives by fighting. She wouldn't regret that.

"We just talked about this! We agreed we wouldn't destroy the akuma unless we had to."

Lenalee crossed her arms. "And I  _did_  have to."

"Oh, come on! You shouldn't go up against that many akuma on your own, even if they're just level ones."

"I wasn't on my own. You're here."

"You didn't warn me! I wasn't prepared to fight."

Lenalee softened her tone. "We  _always_  have to be prepared to fight, Lavi."

"I  _was_ , but – you're putting the whole town in danger! What if this attracts more akuma? What if it alerts the Noah?"

"We'll fight them off."

"I can't believe you're doing this."

"I had to!" Lenalee pointed at the Finders, who were still sitting at the bottom of the hill, trying to force Lavi to look at them and hoping that this would make him understand. "They could be  _dead_!"

Lavi threw his hands in the air. "You didn't think this through!"

"I was  _thinking_  about protecting the Finders," Lenalee said, a warning in her tone.

He didn't heed it. "You're more important, Lenalee. You're an Exorcist. You have to survive if we – if the Order hopes to win this war. Finders are – I mean, they can't fight the – I'm not trying to – uh – never mind! I'm just trying to say that you can't just – you can't take risks like this!" Lavi was pleading unsuccessfully with her. He couldn't find the right words to say what he wanted to say. "It's just making everything more dangerous. You have to know this. You're not – you know that this wasn't safe, you have to – "

"I'm going back to the hotel," Lenalee interrupted, already walking away from him and walking towards the Finders, who had been trying vainly not to watch the argument. They scrambled to follow her, glad to be getting away.

"Wait! Lenalee!" Lavi called after her. He only heard the sound of her feet hitting the ground as she stomped off in response. He smacked himself on the forehead. "Great," he mumbled. As he watched them, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted sarcastically, "It's fine! Don't wait up for me! Just leave me here! I'll catch up!"

Unsatisfied by the continued lack of reaction, Lavi kicked the ground and was annoyed that his toe got stuck. He grumbled about this under his breath as he returned his hammer to its holster and set back into town. For a moment, he worried that he wouldn't know how to get back into town as he hadn't paid much attention on the way out, but he was pleased to find out he could at least still count on his memory, even if his emotions had gotten annoyingly out of control.

* * *

Lenalee tried to contain herself on her walk home. She knew that that display had reflected badly on her, so she tried to focus on breathing regularly so that she seemed composed. The Finders often looked back at her conspicuously but, even with their obvious concern, Lenalee couldn't find the words to reassure them. She wasn't even sure how to reassure herself.

Her duty usually seemed simple: retrieve the Innocence, destroy akuma, protect bystanders. Fighting the akuma off to keep them from killing the Finders seemed completely within the scope of her profession. She hadn't considered any other option because she didn't want to allow anyone to die, especially not a member of the Order. It seemed so clear-cut. But she had to admit, even just to herself, that Lavi had a point: destroying those akuma could bring danger to the town she was supposed to be protecting. The Order wouldn't care unless she failed to retrieve the Innocence, she knew, but that didn't make her feel any better.

The idea of calling home, of asking Komui or Reever for advice, had never seemed so appealing, but she didn't know what she could say. When they arrived at the hotel, she hovered by the phone after convincing the Finders to let her be. She wanted to hear her brother's voice. That was just selfishness, too, Lenalee concluded, and left the phone without ever having dialed. She was sure they were busy enough with their own work.

Instead, she approached the front desk.

"Excuse me," she said, "do you have any rooms available tonight?"

The woman behind the desk looked up from her papers and raised an eyebrow. "You're already staying on the second floor, aren't you?"

"Yes. Are there any other rooms?"

"Give me a moment," the woman said as she shuffled through the papers in front of her. Pulling a sheet out, she looked up at Lenalee. "There is one room available. I should warn you, it's much smaller than the other room."

"That won't be a problem."

Stuffing the key into her pocket, Lenalee went back to the room she and Lavi shared to pick up her bag. The key to this room weighed her hand down. She considered leaving it behind, but she decided she'd keep it just in case. Lavi had a key, too, so he wouldn't be locked out. After making sure the door was locked, she went to check out her new room.

The room was about half the size of the other one. Its only contents were a small bed, an oil lamp, and two bedside tables. The bathroom barely contained the small toilet, shower, and sink.

Her bag thumped when it hit the bed, and Lenalee realized just before she sat down that she hadn't eaten anything substantial all day. Though she would have preferred to lie down and sleep until morning, she convinced herself to leave the room to get a meal.

* * *

Lavi arrived at the hotel after wandering the town aimlessly for hours to find his room abandoned. Lenalee's bag was gone. He crashed onto the bed, exhausted, but quickly found that he couldn't sleep. He was thinking too much.

"What else is new?" he said to himself, pressing a pillow over his face. He took a few seconds and a few labored breaths, then sat back up and threw the pillow to the side. The faint sound of fabric hitting the wall was somehow satisfying.

Lavi pulled his boots off of his feet without unzipping them and threw them across the room in a vague protest against the annoyance Lenalee would surely express with him were she here. He stripped the rest of his clothes off, piling them up in a similar manner. If she was still acting like she had earlier today, though, Lavi realized, she might not say anything after all. He still didn't know what had been bothering her.

The mattress sunk down as Lavi sat on it. He took an inventory of his injuries: his wrist stung, his ribs throbbed, his head pounded. No new developments. He was able to ignore the pain when he was preoccupied, but now that he was alone in a quiet room he didn't have anything else to focus on. As much as he hated to think about it, using his Innocence today had negatively affected his wrist, which meant that Head Nurse might have been right about his deployment being a bad idea.

He groaned and lay down on his back. The bed felt huge with only one person in it, Lavi noticed. Usually, Lavi would welcome an opportunity to stretch out. Tonight, though, he would prefer the warmth of another body. He didn't feel free, like he would have expected; he just felt alone. But he couldn't allow himself to think that. Being alone was  _better_  for him. If Lenalee didn't want to be around him because he was stating facts, that was for the best. He already had too many emotional attachments, and he'd already shown that he hesitated when telling the truth. Some of his conviction had disappeared when Lenalee looked at him. He hadn't been able to say in front of her and the Finders she had saved what he knew to be undeniably true: that her survival had to be prioritized over the Finders' because only Exorcists could fight the Noah. Even that truth showed his weakness, his bias – he shouldn't care if the Order or the Noah won the war. Being an independent observer relied on not favoring a certain outcome. It relied on not caring about the human cost. It relied on him not wondering whether or not Lenalee was right to save the Finders when he knew she couldn't be. In that situation, Lavi and Lenalee could have gotten away from the akuma easily without putting themselves in danger. His training as both a Bookman and an Exorcist told him that that would have been the proper course of action.

As much as he would like to believe that he didn't care what Lenalee thought of him – and that he didn't care what happened to the Finder – Lavi still couldn't sleep. His brain wouldn't let him pretend that he was unaffected. He turned the events of the day over and over again in his head.

Downstairs, Lenalee was doing the same thing.

The uncomfortable bed creaked each time Lenalee moved even an inch. Because she continuously tossed and turned, the creaking acted as appropriate background noise for her unpleasant thoughts. Anger at Lavi felt right and justified, but other emotions she wished she weren't feeling kept surfacing. She didn't want to think about any course of action that would have allowed the Finders to die, but she couldn't ignore Lavi's point that she may have put more people in danger. Each time she got this far, however, she returned to being angry with Lavi. His implication that her life was more important than a Finder's because she was an Accommodator made her seethe. It reminded her of how the Order treated people. She couldn't stand it.

It was a cycle. She'd be mad at Lavi, mad at herself, mad at the Order, and then mad at Lavi again. Her thoughts went nowhere. She knew it was pointless, but she couldn't stop thinking.

She found herself wondering if this was how Lavi felt all the time.


End file.
